This is what I think made this Explanation a good one.
It discribes and gives detail about what happens when you are asleep.
It has an introduction, 3 paragraphs and a summery.
It is written for a range of audience.
Mostly each sentence starts with a different starter like Finally, As, Secondly, Firstly and Me.
One main idea per paragraph with added detail, in the third paragraph it talks about hearing when you are asleep.
Gives lot's of examples to what they mean, in the second paragraph they give examples before they tell them what might happen to them after a while.
Uses past tense like, Me and my family WERE sharing embarrassing moments yesterday.
22 August 2011
What Happens When You Are Asleep?
Firstly some people may grind their teeth, suck their thumbs, sleep walk, sleep talk, snore, and pedal their legs. It’s all very embarrassing but you don’t have to worry because it’s all part of life and every one does one or two of them. They will grow out of it.
Secondly your body slows down, your mouth stops making saliva, your heart beats slower, and your breathing slows downs.
As well as that when you sleep you can hear what is going on around you. You would be able to hear the alarm clock or, if you’re like my mother, a baby crying. If you hear anything unusual you would instantly wake up.
Finally while you are sleeping you also dream. Dreaming is when your have a long vision in your head while you are asleep. Nobody knows what their dreams mean. Some people sit with tape recorders and notebooks on their bedside tables. I don’t think our dreams mean anything. They are just there to keep us busy while we are asleep. This is what happens when we are asleep.
Main Ideas:
1. What people may do while they are asleep.
2. What is difference is between day and night.
3. you can hear things around you while you sleep.
4. You can dream and no one knows what it means.
My Summary for this explanation:
Well, what happens when you are asleep is very interesting but every night just remind yourself that you are doing something while you are asleep!
23.8.2011 - Writing
We have been learning to identify where we are at in our writing and our next steps. Here is my writing progress indicator sheet that shows where Miss Matangi-Hulls & I think I am at in my writing...
To use a tape dispenser is unbelievably easy. It is a wonderful and simple mechanism that holds a roll of tape and dispense it in quantities of your liking.
The contraption is built up of various parts that make it serviceable. Some of the main parts are the jagged metal razor, the plastic body of the dispenser, and the plastic axle in the middle of the body. There is also the foamy grip pad underneath the tape dispenser, which prevents it from sliding and scratching the surface it has been placed on. Some tape dispensers also have sand in the plastic body at the bottom to help weigh it down so it will not slide.
The dispenser is a simple gadget to use. Firstly, the end of the tape should already be stretched onto the razor teeth, so take hold of the tape and tug it gently towards you until it is the length that you require. Be careful not to pull it too hard so you end up with too much tape, and try to avoid cutting your fingers on the metal teeth. Next, pull the tape against the razor in a swift, downwards motion, hence cutting the measure of tape in a straight line. As a result, you can now cut approximate lengths of tape for your work.
As you may or may not already know, a tape dispenser isn’t dependent on electricity or batteries, so it can work anytime, day or night. They are used worldwide in offices, shops, schools, homes, and companies and serve themselves as a reliable working equipment. They’re cheap and can be used to stick objects together, wrap a present, hold a piece of paper or an item to a surface, or even hold items down.
As the world leaps farther into the technology and science of the future, clever effective equipment such as a tape dispenser will surely stay the simple ingenious tool it has been for many more generations. Five different things you could use a tape dispenser for: 1. It could have a thin roll of paper on it.2. You may want it for streamers
3. You could put a Lollie roll on the dispenser and eat it when you want.
4. A mac award holder for each house.
5. bread roll
2 September 2011 - Goal Setting & Reflections 2011...
9 September 2011 - Gymnastics Movie
23 September 2011: Literacy - WritingWALT explain
Here is our success criteria...
Here is my end of term writing sample... Temepara George
WALT: Explain
MLGI:
Use different sentence starters.
PLAN YOUR WRITING.
Main ideas link to the same topic.
Introduction:
Temepara George is a well-known New Zealand national netball player and a member of the New Zealand Silver Ferns team. She is a player with enormous talent and a fantastic role model for girls all over New Zealand.
Main idea 1:
Temepara George was born in New Zealand, in the city Auckland. Temepara George has one sister named Violet and two brothers named Alan and Jayson. Temepara George is aged 35 and was born on the 23rd October 1975.
Main Idea 2:
Temepara George is a Christian and became one because of her friends. The reason she wanted to be a Christian was because her friends were. This has affected her netball playing and making her happier than what she was before she was a Christian. She gives all her worries over to God.
Main Idea 3:
Temepara George has had a big netball career. She has played for the Silver Ferns, Southern Steel, Auckland Diamonds and the Queensland Firebirds. She started in the Silver Ferns in 2000 but was asked to play in the Silver Ferns in 1996. She started playing netball when she was six in 1981. She was selected to be the Silver Ferns vice caption and while she was in that position she has helped her team along by helping the captain Casey Williams to guide the team to victory. Temepara George has play 89 test caps.
Summary:
Temepara George is an interesting person to research about. She has lots of talent and that’s what lot’s of people admire her for. Next time you see the Silver Ferns play on TV watch for Temepara playing!Click here for a full PDF version of my writing with teacher comments...
26.9.2011 3 October 2011: For Inquiry this term we were working on completing our independent inquiries for "The World's in Our Hands." Here are my reflections on my learning.
back
16.8.2011
Oral Language: WALT explain & present
What I thought I did good at:
volume & pace
What I thought I could improve on:
smiling, eye contact & facil expreacions.
11.8.2011
WALT: Explain
What happens when you are asleep?
This is what I think made this Explanation a good one.
22 August 2011
What Happens When You Are Asleep?
Firstly some people may grind their teeth, suck their thumbs, sleep walk, sleep talk, snore, and pedal their legs. It’s all very embarrassing but you don’t have to worry because it’s all part of life and every one does one or two of them. They will grow out of it.
Secondly your body slows down, your mouth stops making saliva, your heart beats slower, and your breathing slows downs.
As well as that when you sleep you can hear what is going on around you. You would be able to hear the alarm clock or, if you’re like my mother, a baby crying. If you hear anything unusual you would instantly wake up.
Finally while you are sleeping you also dream. Dreaming is when your have a long vision in your head while you are asleep. Nobody knows what their dreams mean. Some people sit with tape recorders and notebooks on their bedside tables. I don’t think our dreams mean anything. They are just there to keep us busy while we are asleep. This is what happens when we are asleep.
Main Ideas:
1. What people may do while they are asleep.
2. What is difference is between day and night.
3. you can hear things around you while you sleep.
4. You can dream and no one knows what it means.
My Summary for this explanation:
Well, what happens when you are asleep is very interesting but every night just remind yourself that you are doing something while you are asleep!
23.8.2011 - Writing
We have been learning to identify where we are at in our writing and our next steps. Here is my writing progress indicator sheet that shows where Miss Matangi-Hulls & I think I am at in my writing...
24.8.11 - WALT inferThe Tape Dispenser
To use a tape dispenser is unbelievably easy. It is a wonderful and simple mechanism that holds a roll of tape and dispense it in quantities of your liking.
The contraption is built up of various parts that make it serviceable. Some of the main parts are the jagged metal razor, the plastic body of the dispenser, and the plastic axle in the middle of the body. There is also the foamy grip pad underneath the tape dispenser, which prevents it from sliding and scratching the surface it has been placed on. Some tape dispensers also have sand in the plastic body at the bottom to help weigh it down so it will not slide.
The dispenser is a simple gadget to use. Firstly, the end of the tape should already be stretched onto the razor teeth, so take hold of the tape and tug it gently towards you until it is the length that you require. Be careful not to pull it too hard so you end up with too much tape, and try to avoid cutting your fingers on the metal teeth. Next, pull the tape against the razor in a swift, downwards motion, hence cutting the measure of tape in a straight line. As a result, you can now cut approximate lengths of tape for your work.
As you may or may not already know, a tape dispenser isn’t dependent on electricity or batteries, so it can work anytime, day or night. They are used worldwide in offices, shops, schools, homes, and companies and serve themselves as a reliable working equipment. They’re cheap and can be used to stick objects together, wrap a present, hold a piece of paper or an item to a surface, or even hold items down.
As the world leaps farther into the technology and science of the future, clever effective equipment such as a tape dispenser will surely stay the simple ingenious tool it has been for many more generations.
Five different things you could use a tape dispenser for:
1. It could have a thin roll of paper on it.2. You may want it for streamers
3. You could put a Lollie roll on the dispenser and eat it when you want.
4. A mac award holder for each house.
5. bread roll
30 August 2011 - WALT: Infer
What if Key:
2 September 2011 - Goal Setting & Reflections 2011...
9 September 2011 - Gymnastics Movie
23 September 2011: Literacy - WritingWALT explain
Here is our success criteria...
Temepara George
WALT: Explain
MLGI:
Use different sentence starters.
PLAN YOUR WRITING.
Main ideas link to the same topic.
Introduction:
Temepara George is a well-known New Zealand national netball player and a member of the New Zealand Silver Ferns team. She is a player with enormous talent and a fantastic role model for girls all over New Zealand.
Main idea 1:
Temepara George was born in New Zealand, in the city Auckland. Temepara George has one sister named Violet and two brothers named Alan and Jayson. Temepara George is aged 35 and was born on the 23rd October 1975.
Main Idea 2:
Temepara George is a Christian and became one because of her friends. The reason she wanted to be a Christian was because her friends were. This has affected her netball playing and making her happier than what she was before she was a Christian. She gives all her worries over to God.
Main Idea 3:
Temepara George has had a big netball career. She has played for the Silver Ferns, Southern Steel, Auckland Diamonds and the Queensland Firebirds. She started in the Silver Ferns in 2000 but was asked to play in the Silver Ferns in 1996. She started playing netball when she was six in 1981. She was selected to be the Silver Ferns vice caption and while she was in that position she has helped her team along by helping the captain Casey Williams to guide the team to victory. Temepara George has play 89 test caps.
Summary:
Temepara George is an interesting person to research about. She has lots of talent and that’s what lot’s of people admire her for. Next time you see the Silver Ferns play on TV watch for Temepara playing!Click here for a full PDF version of my writing with teacher comments...
Here is a summary of my writing progress this term...
Click here for my full writing progress indicator matrix...
26.9.2011
3 October 2011: For Inquiry this term we were working on completing our independent inquiries for "The World's in Our Hands." Here are my reflections on my learning.
You can all see my completed movie at:http://wsroom152011-2.wikispaces.com/The+World%27s+in+our+Hands
3.10.2011
This is Emily and I's movie on ipads
3.10.2011
I did a reflection on my own inquiry.
3.10.2011
Jessica and I made a poster on places and commands in maori.